I've had so many changes in the past 6 months with many things it really has been amazing. I really don't know anything about astrology, but I would love to see my chart, not some generalized website bs chart, the real deal for me for this past year.
I don't feel like I have changed as a person with my ideals, values, goals, etc., but I must have to some degree without notice or perhaps I have been recognized for who I always have been and certain people didn't see the real me before (which is a good thing as far as I can tell). It's the only thing I can think of that could have initiated so many changes in the interactions and relationships I have with so many people within such a short amount of time.
Anyway, its more than just interactions with others and even has some to do with getting to know myself again. Something that I have only had the privilege to do a few times in my life. I really feel like I'm getting close to what I have wanted for a long time and that is to be content. There are 2 main things and a few realizations of myself that have just very recently happened that have allowed me this very relaxed state.
I will also say that now I can see a few of the relationships are definitely over and I guess I didn't realise how detremental or worthless they were to me as a person. I have heard the term cancerous used to describe such relationships and I now know exactly what that means, especially one in particular.
Anyway, every day I think about my life as it is now and what I am and have been searching for and my mind has been laying it out like the lyrics to a song or words to poem or something. It is strange and this is the first time I will be writing it out, so here it is.
Things that used to matter just don't matter anymore and I had been searching for a sunset I hadn't seen since I was 8. My memories of some the best things that ever happened, I wonder if they did and I miss the simplicity of life I felt when I was a kid.
For the past 10 years I've been searching for a lot of things I guess, the first time I thought I found it was in it mountain town out west. The sunset right and all was better than I imagined, but like most good things I cut it short I felt something more was waiting. I didn't know then why I left and the prairie was home agian.
Now it's obvious why I left and a lot of things have happened. The best part I'm still living and its only getting better. Things keep changing and I'm looking west while the sun is starting to set in a way I haven't seen since I was a kid.
______________________
Anyway, I know that is lame but I'm telling you its like this evolving song in my head at random times when I'm driving.
Anyway, I'm still figuring it out and the story is far from over. Don't be surprised when you find me living in western Montana again someday.
______________________________________
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Finished the run
Well, we did it.
Our relay team ended up taking 28th out of 57 teams.
I was able to run the 6.5 miles in 57 minutes. My knee was hurting like hell the last .5 miles, but I made it.
We also won $100 for taking 2nd, I beleive in the all male relay category.
Can't remember what our overall time was, I'm sure KP will have it posted though.
There is talk of 1 or more next year, so we better set some goals and beat our time from this year.
Our relay team ended up taking 28th out of 57 teams.
I was able to run the 6.5 miles in 57 minutes. My knee was hurting like hell the last .5 miles, but I made it.
We also won $100 for taking 2nd, I beleive in the all male relay category.
Can't remember what our overall time was, I'm sure KP will have it posted though.
There is talk of 1 or more next year, so we better set some goals and beat our time from this year.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
7.3 miles
Last night I ran/jogged 7.3 miles in 1 hour and 11 minutes. The farthest I had ran at one time before this was slightly more than 4 miles. At no point throughout the run/jog was I even winded, which surprised me.
I ended up having to walk 3 times because of knee pain. The road turned to shit at about mile 4 and earlier in the run I also had to run in the ditch for close to 1 mile. The shitty road really hurts my knees.
Anyway, I'm still relatively happy with that time, dissapointed in my knees. I should be able to run the 6.5 mile this weekend, but I will pay for it after I'm done since my leg of the run is that shitty part of the road for the entire 6.5 miles.
I found this on http://my.dietpower.com/features/best_weight_loss_exercise.php
Walking, 3.0 mph (20:00/mile)
Walking, 3.5 mph (17:09/mile)
Walking, 4.0 mph (15:00/mile)
Walking, 4.5 mph (13:20/mile)
Jogging, 5.0 mph (12:00/mile)
Jogging, 5.5 mph (10:55/mile)
Running, 6.0 mph (10:00/mile)
Running, 6.5 mph (9:14/mile)
Running, 7.0 mph (8:34/mile)
Running, 7.5 mph (8:00/mile)
Running, 8.0 mph (7:30/mile)
Running, 8.5 mph (7:04/mile)
Running, 9.0 mph (6:40/mile)
Running, 9.5 mph (6:19/mile)
Running, 10.0 mph (6:00/mile)
I ended up having to walk 3 times because of knee pain. The road turned to shit at about mile 4 and earlier in the run I also had to run in the ditch for close to 1 mile. The shitty road really hurts my knees.
Anyway, I'm still relatively happy with that time, dissapointed in my knees. I should be able to run the 6.5 mile this weekend, but I will pay for it after I'm done since my leg of the run is that shitty part of the road for the entire 6.5 miles.
I found this on http://my.dietpower.com/features/best_weight_loss_exercise.php
Walking, 3.0 mph (20:00/mile)
Walking, 3.5 mph (17:09/mile)
Walking, 4.0 mph (15:00/mile)
Walking, 4.5 mph (13:20/mile)
Jogging, 5.0 mph (12:00/mile)
Jogging, 5.5 mph (10:55/mile)
Running, 6.0 mph (10:00/mile)
Running, 6.5 mph (9:14/mile)
Running, 7.0 mph (8:34/mile)
Running, 7.5 mph (8:00/mile)
Running, 8.0 mph (7:30/mile)
Running, 8.5 mph (7:04/mile)
Running, 9.0 mph (6:40/mile)
Running, 9.5 mph (6:19/mile)
Running, 10.0 mph (6:00/mile)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Empty
Today was opening day of Sharp tailed grouse and Hungarian partridge.
I have been hunting them since I was 13 years old. Hunting in general, but birds in particular has been a big part of my life. For the past 7 years though it has created a very undeniable feeling of regret every time I kill an animal (fish, bird or mammal).
For those of you who don't know I have a decent education in animal biology including behavioral and ornithology and my background is in natural resources management so I fully recognize the benefit of proper management of anything, including animals. That is not my problem. In fact if it wasn't for the wildlife management programs that have been funded by hunters, the populations in the lower 48 of almost every animal we all take for granted in the "wild" would be minimal in most cases at best.
Anyway, I shot 2 grouse today. I don't really want to get into the details of it, but as I was cleaning them and again later when I was putting the meat away I couldn't help but think that I would rather know of them out in a field somewhere tonight alive than in my fridge soon to be a meal for me, my wife and daughter.
I could have shot several partridge today as well. I quit shooting them about 14 years ago though because I haven't felt that the population is stable enough to support hunting. Oddly enough the game and fish hasn't lowered the limit which is ridiculously high even in good times (5 birds per day). Prime example how following a "science based" system isn't always the right way to do things. Ask any bird hunter in ND and they will tell you that the population is way down from what it used to be.
Unfortunately for the partridge the hunting partner I was with today doesn't see things the same way I do and they will be dinner soon as well. It really doesn't matter though, because if he wouldn't have shot them someone else would have. I know that based on the location where we were hunting when we shot them. They would have been in the same place and someone would have walked the trees they were in. Same for the grouse I shot.
Anyway, I continually think of this passage out of Walden by Thoreau concerning my internal conflict. He describes it so well. I have in the past and continue to put more time into the hunting than almost any other "hobby". I can't understand it, but when I think of other things I could do or buy with the money I spend on it I can think of very very few. Like only 1 and I should focus on that, but every year when hunting season comes around I find myself in the field hunting.
I'm pretty sure that I will always be a hunter, but I can tell my role as a hunter is slowly evolving.
Anyway, here is parts of the passage:
"I have found repeatedly, of late years, that I cannot fish without falling a little in self-respect. I have tried it again and again. I have skill at it, and, like many of my fellows, a certain instinct for it, which revives from time to time, but always when I have done I feel that it would have been better if I had not fished. ... There is unquestionably this instinct in me which belongs to the lower orders of creation; yet with every year I am less a fisherman, though without more humanity or even wisdom; at present I am no fisherman at all. But I see that if I were to live in a wilderness I should again be tempted to become a fisher and hunter in earnest."
I have been hunting them since I was 13 years old. Hunting in general, but birds in particular has been a big part of my life. For the past 7 years though it has created a very undeniable feeling of regret every time I kill an animal (fish, bird or mammal).
For those of you who don't know I have a decent education in animal biology including behavioral and ornithology and my background is in natural resources management so I fully recognize the benefit of proper management of anything, including animals. That is not my problem. In fact if it wasn't for the wildlife management programs that have been funded by hunters, the populations in the lower 48 of almost every animal we all take for granted in the "wild" would be minimal in most cases at best.
Anyway, I shot 2 grouse today. I don't really want to get into the details of it, but as I was cleaning them and again later when I was putting the meat away I couldn't help but think that I would rather know of them out in a field somewhere tonight alive than in my fridge soon to be a meal for me, my wife and daughter.
I could have shot several partridge today as well. I quit shooting them about 14 years ago though because I haven't felt that the population is stable enough to support hunting. Oddly enough the game and fish hasn't lowered the limit which is ridiculously high even in good times (5 birds per day). Prime example how following a "science based" system isn't always the right way to do things. Ask any bird hunter in ND and they will tell you that the population is way down from what it used to be.
Unfortunately for the partridge the hunting partner I was with today doesn't see things the same way I do and they will be dinner soon as well. It really doesn't matter though, because if he wouldn't have shot them someone else would have. I know that based on the location where we were hunting when we shot them. They would have been in the same place and someone would have walked the trees they were in. Same for the grouse I shot.
Anyway, I continually think of this passage out of Walden by Thoreau concerning my internal conflict. He describes it so well. I have in the past and continue to put more time into the hunting than almost any other "hobby". I can't understand it, but when I think of other things I could do or buy with the money I spend on it I can think of very very few. Like only 1 and I should focus on that, but every year when hunting season comes around I find myself in the field hunting.
I'm pretty sure that I will always be a hunter, but I can tell my role as a hunter is slowly evolving.
Anyway, here is parts of the passage:
"I have found repeatedly, of late years, that I cannot fish without falling a little in self-respect. I have tried it again and again. I have skill at it, and, like many of my fellows, a certain instinct for it, which revives from time to time, but always when I have done I feel that it would have been better if I had not fished. ... There is unquestionably this instinct in me which belongs to the lower orders of creation; yet with every year I am less a fisherman, though without more humanity or even wisdom; at present I am no fisherman at all. But I see that if I were to live in a wilderness I should again be tempted to become a fisher and hunter in earnest."
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Wow, now thats refreshing
I just found a new band tonight that I really like. Most of you are pretty up on the music scene so I can only imagine what your initial thoughts will be when I tell you who I'm talking about and how I'm about to describe them.
I have only heard 2 of their songs now and I'm listening to a thirdas I write.
My initial thoughts when I heard them for the first time tonight, actually I got to watch them sing and play the song on tv. I got that great indescribable feeling that you get when you get to see something that is true talent.
I haven't had that feeling (well almost that feeling, not quite) about a song or group since I was introduced to "The Bends" by Radiohead - the song the bends or high and dry and many other songs off that album (of course) and some of the songs by Keane and Coldplay.
Anyway, I'm taking about OneRepublic the song Apologize.
So here are some songs for your viewing and listening pleasure.
"It's like my pleasure in other peoples leisure"
Apologize
The bends. Goddamn this is AWESOME!!
and I couldn't post the above and not post this one
High and Dry
I have only heard 2 of their songs now and I'm listening to a thirdas I write.
My initial thoughts when I heard them for the first time tonight, actually I got to watch them sing and play the song on tv. I got that great indescribable feeling that you get when you get to see something that is true talent.
I haven't had that feeling (well almost that feeling, not quite) about a song or group since I was introduced to "The Bends" by Radiohead - the song the bends or high and dry and many other songs off that album (of course) and some of the songs by Keane and Coldplay.
Anyway, I'm taking about OneRepublic the song Apologize.
So here are some songs for your viewing and listening pleasure.
"It's like my pleasure in other peoples leisure"
Apologize
The bends. Goddamn this is AWESOME!!
and I couldn't post the above and not post this one
High and Dry
Friday, September 5, 2008
Open call - The best MP3 and video player combo
Ok, I have a question for anyone reading this. I don't care if you know me or not.
Here is the scenario.
1)You have a budget of $200 to $300 dollars to spend on a MP3/movie (not video recording capability, I don't care about that).
2)Also you have a budget of up to $200 for accessory speaker system.
What would you get?
I have considered Zune,Creative, Samsung PS2, Ipod to name a few. I'm open to considering anything though.
Thanks.
Here is the scenario.
1)You have a budget of $200 to $300 dollars to spend on a MP3/movie (not video recording capability, I don't care about that).
2)Also you have a budget of up to $200 for accessory speaker system.
What would you get?
I have considered Zune,Creative, Samsung PS2, Ipod to name a few. I'm open to considering anything though.
Thanks.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A good weekend
Had a really good weekend. Spent it in Colorado, Denver mostly.
I did get to take a 10 mile kayak trip down the Arkansas R. on an inflatable 2 person Kayak with my brother-in-law and his fiance and her friend. They called the kayak a duck boat, but it looked like this. The start point was Salida, CO and we floated to a boat landing called Rincon. For the most part it was class 2 with a few spots that were small class 3 rapids. Class 2 and 3 really isn't that big of a deal, but this late in the year it can be challenging because of the rocks, since the water level is lower. It was a lot of fun and I will be doing a float again earlier next summer down in CO, with mostly class 3's. I will post a pic. of this past trip if my brother-in-law sends me one.
Everytime I visit Denver I'm tempted to move to Colorado. Not necessarily Denver, but somewhere in CO.
Anyway, thats all that is new here. Deer and Antelope hunting with the bow started this past weekend, so I will be in the hills and badlands a lot over the next month, with the highlight being a camping tirp to the badlands for 4 to 5 days at the end of Sept.
Have a great day.
I did get to take a 10 mile kayak trip down the Arkansas R. on an inflatable 2 person Kayak with my brother-in-law and his fiance and her friend. They called the kayak a duck boat, but it looked like this. The start point was Salida, CO and we floated to a boat landing called Rincon. For the most part it was class 2 with a few spots that were small class 3 rapids. Class 2 and 3 really isn't that big of a deal, but this late in the year it can be challenging because of the rocks, since the water level is lower. It was a lot of fun and I will be doing a float again earlier next summer down in CO, with mostly class 3's. I will post a pic. of this past trip if my brother-in-law sends me one.
Everytime I visit Denver I'm tempted to move to Colorado. Not necessarily Denver, but somewhere in CO.
Anyway, thats all that is new here. Deer and Antelope hunting with the bow started this past weekend, so I will be in the hills and badlands a lot over the next month, with the highlight being a camping tirp to the badlands for 4 to 5 days at the end of Sept.
Have a great day.
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