Transition time

The transition from summer to fall has happened. It's amazing how long ago the hot days of summer seem when in reality they were only a month or so ago. The leaves are falling from my backyard tree. The mornings are cool and there's moisture on my car windows. The afternoons are warm and calm, with blue sky and sunshine.
Fall is my favorite time of the year.
In a few months it will be winter, but until then I have many miles to cover in S. central and SW North Dakota. The only way I can describe how this time of the year makes me feel is to say that it feels like I'm living a sequel, every year to the poem by Robert Frost Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
______________________________
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
____________________________________________

That is one of my favorite poems and I have thought of it many times when I'm in the woods watching the snow fall, darkness setting in and listening to the sound of silence in the woods... which is like no other. And not surprisingly, I think of a specific place and time when I read this poem.

More thoughts on life - I'm starting to get it...

or at least I like to think I'm becoming more accepting and this writing seems to be the outlet for my fears. I always feel better after writing my thoughts here and I guess I just assume like most blog entries, my writings go unnoticed, except by the writer who finds them to be a venerable masterpiece! HA! Think of that next time your reading someones blog - if you don't already.

Anyway, maybe that's also why I get lengthy in my posts, unconsciously trying to bore a possible reader into leaving the post, because it's a lot of information that I typically only share with a limited group of like minded individuals.

Deep down though, I write these things with the hope that they will initiate thoughts about the things that really matter in life, whatever that may be to whoever is reading this.

On to the substance... When I think of my life and others, we're all like characters in a movie that plays out in a blend of many seemingly mundane things, which are actually the best parts of our life, the ones we often take for granted. Unfortunately, the blend is mixed with tragedy,that we all have to endure, some more than others.

I heard this song for the first time in a long time the other day. The song is called "Grey Sky Morning" and it was introduced to the music world by a group called Vertical Horizon. I think it's a great song and for some reason I had thought I had read at one time it was written by the singer for his wife that died of cancer?? Well, I don't know what the hell made me think that because I cannot find a shred of evidence supporting that anywhere and I can't even find out who wrote it?

What a pipe dream, I can't believe I even admit that I thought that and it kind of makes me happy and pissed at the same time. Happy for the obvious reasons, but pissed (to a much lesser extent) because the song that I thought was so full of substance could possibly be the result of some professional song writing dude or dudette who hit a yatzee one day sitting at some urban coffee shop.

Either way, it's a good song and really gets me thinking about life (what doesn't, right?) and it also helps that the lead singer from Vertical Horizon really sings this song well. I would say perfect in fact.

Here's a link to the song, which I'm going to listen to, to solicit the thoughts that I want to share.

Grey Sky Morning

The movie "Stranger than Fiction" is easily one of my favorite movies. It was definitely one of the biggest influences on my recent thoughts on life, as you can tell or will be able to after watching it, based on the things I wrote above.

Whoever put that movie together really, really gets it. They lay it out so perfectly. Life can and will pass you by if you don't wake up and really, really realize that 1. this is it here on earth and especially if you don't believe in God, than this is absolutely it. 2. I recently saw a quote that went something like this "Life is made up of a thousand little things, and to a much lesser extent the occasional big things" 3. It can all end in a second, without warning.

So, what's the point of this shit that I'm writing? The point is that we can live our life in a few different ways. You can either realize and make the most of it or not realize it, being oblivious to the inevitable things that will change with and around you. In some ways I envy the person who is oblivious, but I'm ultimately brought back to the realization that my way is the right way for me. And for confirmation I fully realize the beauty of the words my good friend Josh S. once said to me "Is the pain of my leaving worth joy of our next meeting?" This is life, pain and joy. Both are dependent upon and intensified by each other.

Lastly, I have been wanting to put it out somewhere a few things that really inspire me. As I was accumulating these things I realized that there's nothing I can say or deserve to say. These things bring up pure emotion and makes me grateful to be part of this beautiful life.

They inspire me to be more, do more and appreciate life more:

Randy Pausch
Skid Boot
Richard Holcomb and especially Dick (The man among men) and Ricky Hoyt

Not as long as I thought

I was pleasantly surprised that it hasn't been as long as I thought it was between posts. The last post still makes me laugh and I'm glad I posted it, because I had forgotten about it.

If you enjoyed that you will enjoy this as well. The other night she was "reading" to her little brother, and I say reading in quotation marks because she doesn't really know how to read. She had a book open towards him and as he was looking and listening intently she says: It was a fine morning in the evening, during the daytime and the world made sense...

A and I were having a discussion up until that point and as expected burst out laughing (quietly and contained as possible) to which Mck new she had said something funny, but was not slightly embarrassed, but proud of herself because I think she knew we weren't laughing at her.

Anyway, what I originally came here to post are some thoughts that might take me a while to grab a hold of and put down on whatever the technical equivalent is in the blogging world to paper.

I will do that in another post, since personally I'm not a fan of reading 99% of really long posts, which this one is already.

My sweet little girl

Last night Mck and I were driving home from the grass clipping recycle area and we passed the road that goes to my parents house. The conversation that followed was pretty funny. I wish I would have recorded it, because this doesn't do it justice.

My parents place hasn't flooded, but we can't get to their house because the roads to their house are all flooded.

McK: That's the way to grandma's house.

Me: Yep, you're right, it is.

McK: Can we can go there again.

Me: Sometime we can, but it won't be for a while.

McK: We can't because there's water all around her house and grandma has a dike around her house.

- - - -
I was surprised to hear that she obviously had an idea of what a dike was because she hadn't been out there to see it. My mom must have told her about it or she remembered us talking about it at some point a month ago. The following is where it get's funny.
- - - -

Me: Do you know what a dike is?

McK: What?

Me: Well it's a (trying to think of the easiest way to describe it to a 4 year old), it's a...

McK: It's something that protects your house.

Me: Yes it is, very good.

McK: Daddy,I know things better than you do.

Me: (laughing) Yeah I guess you do...

The way that you wander

Some of my favorite lyrics from the Jeremiah Johnson soundtrack by Tim McIntire.

"The way that you wander is the way that you choose, the day that you tarry is the day that you loose. Sunshine or thunder a man will always wonder where the fair wind blows, where the fair wind blows."


"An indian says you'll search in vain for what you cannot find, he says you'll find a thousand ways of runnin down your time. An indian didn't scream it, he said it in a song and he's never been known to be wrong, he's never been known to be wrong."

No Time To Kill

Written by Clint Black and Hayden Nicholas.

No Time To Kill

There's no time to kill between the cradle and the grave
Father Time still takes a toll on every minute that you save
Legal tender's never gonna change the number on your days
The highest cost of livin's dyin', that's one everybody pays
So have it spent before you get the bill, there's no time to kill

If we'd known ten years ago today would be ten years from now
Would we spend tomorrow's yesterdays and make it last somehow
Or lead the cheers in someone else's game and never learn to play
And see the rules of thumb are all the same that measure every day
The grass is green on both sides of the hill, there's no time to kill

No time to kill, even I've said it, and probably always will
But I can look ahead and see that time ain't standin' still
No time to kill but time to change the kind of hurry I've been in
And quit this work and worry lookin' back at where I've been
If you don't look ahead nobody will, there's no time to kill

If we had an hour glass to watch each one go by
Or a bell to mark each one to pass, we'd see just how they fly
Would we escalate the value to be worth its weight in gold
Or would we never know the fortunes that we had 'til we grow old
And do we just keep killin' time until there's no time to kill

No time to kill, even I've said it and probably always will
But I can look ahead and see that time ain't standin' still
No time to kill but time to change the kind of hurry I've been in
And quit this work and worry lookin' back at where I've been
If you don't look ahead nobody will, there's no time to kill

No time to kill, even I've said it and probably always will
But I can look ahead and see that time ain't standin' still
No time to kill but time to change the kind of hurry I've been in
And quit this work and worry lookin' back at where I've been
If you don't look ahead nobody will, there's no time to kill

No time to kill
No time to kill
No time to kill

It's been a long time.

I figured it is about time I put something on here. Well, not much new that everyone doesn't already know or expect to read.

Had a good christmas and new years. Saw a bunch of friends that I haven't seen in a long time.

My family is healthy and life is good.

I do believe

One of my favorite singers.
Good song.

Plantains...

Tastes like a sweet potatoe to me. Pretty good, I suggest you try one if you haven't already.

Slice it and then fry it in a tablespoon of olive oil.

The first time I had this was about 15 years ago, when I knew this Nigerian guy who came to ND from NY. His name was Malik (sp?).

I wonder where he is now.

He pan fried a plantain for me since I hadn't ever seen one until then and he couldn't believe it.

Anyway, time for bed.

I hope you all are well.

Colorado on my mind.

Going to be headed down to CO next week for a week. Hopefully I will get into the hills for a morning with McKenzie. When we were hiking in the river bottoms this spring she said she wants to hike in the mountains, so...

There's nothing like the smell of pine, the sound of a stream and just being in the mountains.

Here is John Denver talking about Rocky Mountain High; one of my favorite songs.

One of the best summers ever.

There was a summer when I rode bike everywhere. We looked for arrowheads where old villiages once existed near the river.
We spent many nights by the river with good friends and learned a lot about ourselves and each other.
I met nearly all of my closest friends that summer and the others that are my close friends now are a result of those friends. All except 3 or so.
I worked at a hardware store and had lots of adventures. Made my first trip to the Rockies and it changed my life forever.
That was definitely one of the best summers of my life and I'm greatful.

Thanks Matt and everyone else who I'm friends with now becuase of!!!

I can't imagine life without all of you.

A few of the best who ever lived

I was listening to a song tonight that always reminds me of my grandparents. Its a song by Van Zant called "Help somebody". This song hits so close to home it practically brings tears to my eyes everytime I hear it. I wish I had some digital pics to post of my grandparents on here. Maybe I will be able to get some from my folks one of these days.

My grandma was one of the most giving people I know, had the biggest heart and she was only 4 foot 10 inches tall. My memories of her are always of giving. Giving to me, my cousins and all kinds of people who needed someone to listen. My grandma worked for Community Action and her job was never 8 to 5. I remember meeting so many people who would stop in at her house to talk with her, needing her for who she was. But, I also remember her turning into a little fireball when she would get mad at my grandpa or one of us kids for something. She walked her talk always.

My grandpa was one also one of the kindest people I have ever met. I can still hear his laugh and I can still feel his hug. My grandpa had an answer for everything, whether it was always right or not I don't know. But he was one hell of a man and one of the things I remember my grandma telling me that he said to her once was "I will always stand by your side no matter what, as long as you always tell me the truth". And he did. I cannot even remember a single time when he was mad at her.

Both of my grandparents died a little more than a year apart from each other at about 68 years old, both from Pancreatic cancer in April,2002 and October,2003. The saddest thing I have ever experienced was a night in March about a month before my grandma died, standing in her kitchen and giving her a hug as I was crying, because we all knew she was going to die soon and she just kept telling me it's going to be alright.

One of the best memories I have of my grandpa, even though it was on his death bed was when he said to me "you and I are so alike, Blake, we are so alike".

I guess this post is obviously more for me than anyone, but I guess most blogs are in my opinion. They make good journals.

Here and gone

So,one of my favorite seasons has come and gone... unless it rains again before June.

The Morels were back and it has been a very enjoyable few weeks. It seems that I might have been a week or more late on my initial harvest I was told.

Last Wed. McKenzie and I collected over 70. Then on Sat. between me, my dad, McKenzie, uncle and cousins we collected close to 150. Then yesterday I had a half hour and found about 10 that were in good shape, but there were a lot of them dried up already.

McKenzie even started finding them on her own!! I wonder how many 3.5 year olds there are wandering the woods finding Morels on their own? I'm proud of her and she is my little out of doors buddy.

Anyway, a few things came to mind as I was walking the "river bottoms" this season that I will share (besides better pictures of the Morels for identification purposes).

1. The first is that beyond the general appreciation of the Morel, taking it step further in realizing that each one you have the honor to pick could be the last one. This year they weren't as plentiful as last year. I was anticipating another year like last so I left a bunch that most people would have picked, but I was only picking the freshest at that time.

2. When I go to harvest the mushroom, I cut it at about 1/4 to 1/2 way up the stem. I noticed that this is how much the deer leave when they eat them, so it is obviously the right thing to do.

3. I don't really understand the reproductive cycle of the mushroom, so I don't know when it is that they release their spores. I know that isn't very responsible, but as a result of that lack of knowledge I have decided that I will leave several standing when I find a group of them and anything that has any part of the mushroom that is too dried up or moldy will be left where it stands.

4. I like to use a knife to cut the mushroom off, but a scissor would work fine. This minimizes the risk of damage to the lower half and underground structure.

Anyway, I will post some pics soon!

Anxiously waiting

Well, if all goes well we should be about 1 month out from the return of the Morels.
I went into the woods yesterday to check it out hoping they were either early or that I had just found them a little late last year.
Not the case.
It is still too dry and it has been cold. Hell we even had snow this past Sunday so it's not mushroom friendly weather.
I did take my little girl with me though and she loved it! She also has a surprisingly good memory for specific areas that we stopped etc. I can only dream where that kind of awareness already for the woods will lead.
Anyway, going to Montana and Wyoming for the weekend.

Who cares, right?

Have you ever noticed that the word liar is within the word peculiar?

Answer to "The meaning of life"

I truly believe that I have figured out the meaning of life. It's really so simple.

The meaning of life is simply to Live, to be alive. That's it! Our exsistence alone is the meaning of life. Everything else is just a benefit or a distraction.

The meaning of life can be summed up, easily observed and witnessed all throughout nature. The more simple forms of life (when compared to interactions such as human to human, not DNA) especially show us this is true, in my opinion.

Take a flower for example. What is the purpose of life of a flower? Is its only purpose to simply act as a servant to other life forms? I say no, but my explanation of this will sound insane to those of you who don't already understand what I'm saying here. If you don't understand I politely suggest you open your mind. I acquired it first through years of time in nature,especially through the mountains and hunting. And then formed a deeper understanding of my life and other life through exposure to Taoist philosophy.

I'm not claiming that this is the only way to find it, find it on your own terms.

Anyway, I do realize that you can argue yes to my question about the flower and its purpose. But do you really believe the meaning of life is only to support other life? There's nothing in it for us beyond that?

I also realize that we all play a part willingly or not in the existence of other life forms, even after we die. But, I assure you, the true meaning of life is simply to live and hopefully enjoy it while you are here.

Because it's "such a long long time to be gone and a short time to be there".

Good song and question

It's come to our attention
Life now is bound to change
While we the peaceful majority
We sit back and anticipate

These are our days now
These are not the same now
These are not the same
These human beings are dangerous
Their greed is contagious
Now the world it waits

These people they attacked our freedom
Their weapons technology and hate
Lives were stolen without warning
Brothers and sisters now erased

These are our days now
These are not the same now
These are not the same
These human beings are dangerous
Their greed is contagious
Now the world it waits

_____________________________________

How do you interpret this song? Maybe I should try and find it somewhere as to what he is saying here, before I ask and make a fool out of myself by writing my thoughts.

I mean it seems pretty obvious. Spet. 12, the day after, life has surely changed. I get that.

I'm sure I'm stating the obvious here, but, I hear this song as though he laying out the fears of both "sides". And by sides I don't necessarily mean us and the "terrorists", but more between all of us who are simply caught up in it all. Mostly the innocent who get caught up in the real bullshit, which to them, even if they have a clue why "we" are there would be a very scary situation.

Anyway, I'm curious if someone can tell me their thoughts or the exact meaning behind Xavier Rudd's lyrics in this song.

I love the melody of the guitar-like instrument and his singing and of course the dige. To say he is an amazing artist is definitely an understatment.

Badlands 2009

Badlands 2009

Badlands 2009

I finally found the cable for my camera. Now I can show you some pics from this years Badlands trip.

There are few places on this earth that are as spiritual to me as this area of the Badlands in ND.

Everytime I'm there the thought crosses my mind that it might be the last time and everytime I leave I can only think about the next time.

Absolutely beautiful.